Category: musings (page 1 of 1)

Good Friday truly is the longest day on this earth. It is as though time has come to a halt. We do not worship a dead God; we worship a living God, but on this day it does not feel so. I stare at the stripped alter with the open door on the tabernacle. He is has left us, and I can only feel the sorrow that remains in our midst. My God, my God, why have you been sealed away in this tomb?

On this day I cannot pray, “O Most Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I adore Thee profoundly. I offer Thee the most precious Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ present in all the tabernacles of the world…”

The tabernacles stand empty. He is sealed away in the alter of repose. “Christ graciously hear us”, I pray as my faith waivers. We received the Last Supper. Christ broke bread with us and shared his cup. He instituted the sacrament of the Eucharist, and then he left us. He left us in order to suffer the ignominious death of the Cross in reparation for our sin. Give us this day our daily bread, but there is no Eucharist for us on Good Friday. Hell is a separation from God, and on this day am I not tormented with ten thousand hells in being deprived of my Lord?

I stand in waiting. I must have faith that the good Lord will return and that the Last Supper was not the end. I must have faith that the death at Calvary was not the end, but while he is gone I can only think of the agony of Jesus in the Garden. For him to understand everything that was to precipitate and for the weight of our iniquities to bear down on him is a heart-wrenching thought.

And yet, even his closest followers deserted him. What hope do I have? I stand here waiting at my vigil. I await the Great Paschal Mystery: an incomprehensible shattering of the bonds of sin and death I did nothing to deserve. In spite of the totality of my blemishes and shortcomings, He loves me, and I must be a vessel for that love and share it with my fellow men. I must love others as He loves me. Christ graciously hear us! On Good Friday I can contemplate the sorrow, and I can wait, and I can prepare. I will not pray for the Lord to hasten the day. Give the Sorrowful Mysteries their due time.

The modern smartphone is something deceptive, something deluding. See how it captures one’s attention. Call it what it is: ignis fatuus. Like a haunting light in the darkness, it dances enticingly just beyond one’s reach. It is a will-o’-the-wisp.

Never physically distant, but it shows only what is far away. Why would it show anything near when eyes and body can experience things proximal without this enchanted device. No, instead it shows fancies from afar. Perhaps the vision is down the street, across the state, or on another continent. What matters most to the attention leech is that the image is absent from the room.

With an ingenious malevolency it offers its power as a two way street. Perhaps a fascinating reality of life manifests before one’s eyes. Now there is nothing on the screen that could hold interest in this moment. However this spectacle could be broadcast to everyone else sitting in a moment of dullness, wanting for excitement. So the smartphone is held aloft by the user during the experience, as they watch on its screen to make sure it properly captures that moment. At restaurants, phones eat first. At shows, phones have the best view.

The smartphone has murdred boredom. It can keep it at bay so long as it has a charge. There is something it can always show the user. A new notification that needs attending to. We should mourn the the death of boredom, of quiteness, and of stillness. They can still be found, but more often than not, they must intentionally be sought out.

What a queer life technology has wrought us. It is a Lady of Shallot business. The smartphone is the mirror that can tightly hold a conscious world. It must have everything in it for what could be beyond it? One’s life my require interfacing with these devices. Perhaps a final severance and parting of the ways is impossible. The best outcome within the realm of possibility may only be careful regulation of the interactions between man and device, but at least call the damned thing what it is: ignis fatuus.

It is necessary to be aware of one’s emotional state. One needs to be cognizant of the stressors that exist and the distractions one may turn to. It is good to look back in hindsight and recognize these aggravations. A man must understand how they push him in one direction or the other, but hindsight is not enough. There will be times in the future when these same stressors will return, and one needs to needs to take account of his emotional state and make wise decisions.

Rest is important. Leisure is important. One needs to identify the activities that give one true rest. They recreate man again so that he can have the energy to continue forward in life. This is what recreation gives man. Recreare in Latin means to create again, renew. Recratio the noun meaning restoration and recovery became Old French and from there English picked it up. Recreation is key to a life well lived.

There are activities and entertainment that can give one a false sense of relaxation. They do not refresh man, but instead exhaust him after he partakes in them. They do not rebuild, but rather distract. Man turns to these false forms of recreation in times of stress, but they will never give him the refreshment he seeks. They offer an easy initial buzz of pleasure in a steady drip, but it ends with a feeling of emptiness. Something vital has been lost.

Instead seek out the lost art of leisure. Forms of relaxation that revitalize oneself. Activities that are not work, but still grant one with a quiet sense of accomplishment and gladness. Discovering these hobbies will help one understand himself better. The recreational pursuits that rebuilds oneself are the brick and mortar which constructs an individual. Remember that prayer to God will always give oneself true rest.

The late afternoon light has been stolen by the changing of the clocks. Darkness falls so early these days. Some leaves still cling to certain trees, but many species bare only their skeletons. They know the cold embrace of winter will be arriving shortly.

This time of the year shifts my gears towards introspection. It’s a good habit, but all things in moderation. It can easily give way to brooding if one does not exhibit temperance in his reminiscence. Saudade: a longing for something from the past you deeply miss. On some level you know it will never be coming back. It is such a profound concept in a single word. The Portguese must be a beautiful people to carry such an expression in their language.

The dreams in this darkness can weigh heavily on the mind. Each night a new surprise awaits me, ready to stir up old memories. Reliving the past is not a curse, but a consequence. It is what makes us who we are today, and to accept that is wisdom. Let the darkness show what it has to bear for I know who I am. November is not a time for fear, but for remembering.